First off, I just wanted to say LONG TIME NO SEE! Though I guess all of you have also "long time no see" this blog. Bleah. I'll still post randomly! wahahaha.
Next up, I just felt like this needs to go on our hospi blog. It's like kinda a big moment!
This be our new Hospi Head! Hello Don!:) (big moment calls for BIG picture. hehe)
Ok so on to what I really wanted to post. I can't remember where I got this from, but I read it somewhere and typed it into my phone.
You know what I think we are most afraid of? Not knowing. Not knowing whether it's all really worth it. not knowing if you should give up or keep fighting. Not knowing why you do the things you do; not knowing the purpose. It's like when you're little and you touch the stove and get burned, because you didn't really know it was hot. Not knowing has always hurt us, from the very beginning.
This really struck me. Hard. It's always not knowing what's going to happen that makes us so cautious, makes us so wary, makes us hold back. If not knowing hurts us, then conversely, knowing will keep us safe? I guess we are all lost at different times of our lives. Wondering why am I doing this? What's the reason? What's the purpose? And that big unknown scares us away. Makes us run away from what we are doing. But the thing I've come to learn is, the more you run away, the less you will know. It gets to a point where you can only learn frmo what you experience, what you see, what you feel, waht you hear. If you just run away from whatever you are doing just because you don't see the purpose, then we will be running our whole lives.
I've been with Amp and Hospi for about close to 2years now. There have been so many things I don't know, so many things I do even though I don't know the purpose. Some I still don't know. But there are also so many that through doing them and staying on in the community and listening to what everyone has to share, I've learnt what the purpose is. When we first started the designated huggers, I thought it was just to be another welcome party. To me it was just a simple task of hugging people as they walk in(which I did before that anyways) But I truly understood the reason recently. A friend of mine shared with me that there have been a few occasions where she came alone and when she opened the door to the small audi, she got scared, closed the door, walked out of csc and headed home. If someone had been there to welcome her, make her feel comfortable, guide her into the room, I'm sure she would have gone in. The effect of one simple "Hey, come on in" makes a huge difference. People walk in and out all the time. Let's try to make it people walk in all the time. Make the out not an option.
I'm sure we all have faced different times in our lives where "Not knowing" has stopped us from doing things, from saying things, from serving. That's why there's the need to keep coming back, keep asking, keep learning, keep knowing. Don't let the "Not knowing" be a hindrance to our lives and our service. If you're lost or confused or lost the sense of purpose, just always know that we are all searching for that purpose. Come and do it together. The most important is to not leave. Coz when you leave, the chance of you knowing will not come, and you will spend your life "Not knowing" and getting hurt.
Always Nice to have Family Around.
It was really Amusing to watch Markus do that thing
Trademark.
STEAMBOAT AT MY PLACE YESTERDAY!
Love the Face Ambrose!
Trying to be formal but CANNOT MAKE IT OKAY!
Christmas Fellowship @ Olsen's place.
My tudi & I!
Cher, Olsen, Thava & Jo!
Thava's sucha cutie!
Brid+Olsen with the box full of red gummy bears!
You guys got to listen to this!
it's my favourite song & i wanna share it with you guys!
Sometimes, we tend to appreciate Him only when we are broken.......
we stop finding comfort/seek Him when we're in cloud nine(cause we'll totally forget about him). Lambs, in whatever situation we are in, whether in our tears or in our laughters, we should opt to be in His arm always...
He is the God that will never let us go. In fact, we are the ones who choose to leave :(
He never leaves us in the lurch and we should hold on to him, for as long as we're living.
Please pray for the retreat and maybe the weather! HAHAH
So the day sees everything going on smoothly,
Found a suitable building: Check! , Last Letter: Check!
The only time i could cry was during Bath time cause nobody will know. It was only with god's grace that I was given the courage to tell my mother about my plan. & i just wannna thank God for i will prolly go ahead with the plan if i hadnt consult her. Both of us broke down and cried. From then on, mommy lowered her expectations and goals for me to meet, so long as i give it my best shot, she'll be contented.
Things started to fall in place after my YI? (Liberation- Dec 2008) cause i was able to better comprehend things & appreciate them for their existence.
I was in the midst of my RCIA journey when my RCIA mate then(Amplify mate now!) approached me and handed me a card. It was the registration card for YI. Knowing i am never the holy moly kind, i told Danny, huh camp? sorry i dont like camps Dan! However, Despite my rejection, Danny was always patient and kind towards me. I see Jesus in him! ^^He just told me to bring the form back and fill it in when im ready. I NEVER LIKE camps, not to mention church camps. Camps are a waste of time.
One day, I just dont know what came over me, and i just filled the form and passed it to Danny. Unknowingly, It was god's calling for me.
The day came with me being really skeptical. How interesting can a church camp be? If school camps are already killing me, what's more with church camps with all the alleluia alleluia songs right?
Guess i was utterly wrong. This is the camp that changed my entire life and perceptions of how I see things now. Without this camp, i wouldnt find my motivation to keep my faith strong. It was on the last day of YI that i vow to serve God's people and his kingdom through a Ministry.
Throughout the camp, I received a whole lot of care and concern, the group sharings were a source of vitamins for me to grow and realise God's overpowering love for me. During the whole camp, my prayer intention was solely to hear God speaking to me. Indeed, he did, not literally but through acts of the service team- the way they cared for us, the way we were being treated, the way our facils treated us, the way the whole itinery was planned.
It was really really awesome pawesome that i couldn't believe it. It was near to perfection.
As time passed, I have learned to appreciate the advice given to me by my FACS(Antonia&Joseph). The whole camp made me realise how special i was in the eyes of God despite my unworthiness. & It was during the time before confession that God touched me in a special way. I could still remember the background music played: "Spirit of God, Lift me Up"
Oh, and I was the only non-catholic to go for confession because apparently all the priests mentioned that the non-catholics are not bound by sins? & that priority are given to the Catholics :( But PRAISE GOD, I was really lucky to meet this particular priest and he even taught me how to go about confessing during a confession. Cool yar!? He was so patient and nice that i felt God's presence in him, and i just teared when im in the midst of it.
Healing night was even awesome as i learned to open up. I vowed to God that i will never ever go back to my old ways and that i will start life anew. While the intercessors were praying over me, I just feel the urge to cry as loud as i could. It's been a long time since i last cried my lungs out lor! It seemed as though God wanted me to leave all my burdens to him! :D
After the last event of the camp, i just got the urge and calling to serve in the ministry and so Joseph(my facil then, and now my fighting partner,HAHAHA) encouraged me to join the hospi team since he's inside too. From then on, there was no looking back! >:DDDD YAY.
Ever since then, i broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years(with God's grace), although it was difficult to muster the courage, glad i did. Now that im able to concentrate on my spiritual life, im proud to say that Jesus is my king and I TOTALLY ENJOY SERVING HIS PEOPLE AND HIS KINGDOM with OTHER HOSPI LAMBS ^^
Let YI be an awesome pawsome experience for you too, serve in a ministry to stay strong in faith and to serve God's people for you'll feel a sense of accomplishment through doing god's work. SERVE IN HOSPI NOW!
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9 (New International Version)
What you got if you ain't got love
The kind that you just want to give away
It's ok to open up
Go ahead and let the light shine through
I know it's hard on a rainy day
You wanna shut the world out and just be left alone
But don't run out on your faith
Cause sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands
And when you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else seem
So small
It's so easy to get lost inside
A problem that seems so big at the time
It's like a river that's so wide it swallows you whole
While you're sitting around thinking about what you can't change
And worrying about all the wrong things
Time's flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count cause you can't get it back
Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands
Oh, and when you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else seem
So small, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
